A Pane In Da Butt

Rochelle Fields Captain of the Enterprise  Buy her books.

She also took this picture outside her window.

This was the actual “first appearance” of someone I call “Weatherman Bob.”

This story first appeared  November 10, 2012.  Enjoy.

Ice on the window.jpg

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A gracious man stopped by to help Bob push it out of the ditch. “Las Vegas, Nevada?”

“Yes.”

“Visiting?”

“New job. Haven’t had time to change the plates yet.”

“Believe me, the weather around here gets tricky.  All four seasons in four hours. You won’t find THAT in Vegas.”

“All the more reason to be excited about being here.”  Bob thanked him profusely, driving away in a zig-zag.

At WMXT, Bob slid into his desk just as the camera light came on.  “Gooooood MORNING, Kansas City!  Looks like we ALL got stuck in six inches of partly cloudy, huh?”

 
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63 Responses to A Pane In Da Butt

  1. ceayr says:

    Terrific!
    But too often too close to the truth with forecasters, whether paid or standing behind you in the queue.

  2. wmqcolby says:

    Well, you know, they have been known to be caught off guard at times. The people we employ as meteorologists have degrees in science and things and their predictions are pretty much accurate (to the surprise of most) but, then there’s that monkey wrench that gets thrown in that tells them, OK, do we spin the wheel or do we stay with a safe forecast?

    Thanks, C.E. 🙂

  3. neilmacdon says:

    A witty pun from the title to the last line. Great stuff

  4. Dear Cuzzin Notnek,

    I keep trying to tell my husband it’s not an exact science. Nonetheless it upsets him when the snow or rain don’t come at the exact predicted hour. This remains my favorite of your stories. Rest in peace, Bob.

    Shalom,

    Cuzzin Shelley

  5. wmqcolby says:

    Ah, you know who Bob really was! But, I was pretty sure you would since I’m certain you guessed it before anyway. He’s missed. 😦

    “Yes, the title, too.”

    Weeee repre-seeeeennnnt the William Morris Agency …!

  6. Sandra says:

    So very funny, Kent. 🙂 We had our own ‘Bob’ who did his thing back in October 1987. Hope this link works. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKPQLl5rupg

    • wmqcolby says:

      Ohhhhh, YIKES! We have had our share of blunders, yes. These days, though, we have more resources due to technology being better (which it wasn’t in 1987). We have people all over the metropolitan area as weather spotters and they call in or e-mail what conditions are in their neck of the woods. It’s still a little bit of a gamble due to weather patterns changing (here in the midwest, it’s frequent) but we’re better equipped than we used to be. Thanks for the link!

      And thanks for your kind comments, Sandra. 🙂

  7. Funny story! We all have a special relationship with our weather people. 🙂

  8. Ha.. I have always thought that weather forecasting should be more amusing….

  9. tedstrutz says:

    I remember this! Still a great story, Wm. I’ll have to go find my story.

  10. Lynn Love says:

    Nicely done! And how the weather men love that changeable weather. The UK is great for meteorologists, apparently – definitely all four seasons in a day. Autumn today 🙂
    A nice set up and great finish. Great stuff

  11. Lynn Love says:

    A poster saying If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute. It’s very apt 🙂

  12. Lynn Love says:

    Of course! Sorry, being a bit slow there. There’s no place like home 🙂

  13. Weather forecasters certainly are an enthusiastic bunch! In a past job I had to post daily and long-term forecasts on a local news website and I became completely absorbed with the whole process, especially with building up a stock of photos for every possible forecast. The trouble here on the NW coast of Ireland is that the weather can be completely different depending on which window you’re looking through so there was always a lot of disagreement no matter what I said. All good fun, it was the thing I missed most when I got a job in print journalism

    • wmqcolby says:

      Disagreement. Yeah, that sounds about right! 😀 One of our morning reporters used to (years ago) do traffic reports on Irish TV and, being American, she had a hard time with the pronunciation of names. Of course, being half-Irish (the other half Mexican) she had a sense of humor about it, but considered it an interesting failure in her career. Her name is Kathy Quinn. Wonderful lady. I worked with her for many years.

  14. Ha, ha. This made me laugh. If you don’t like the forecast on one channel, try another until you find one that suits! 🙂

  15. wmqcolby says:

    Now THAT’S a reasonable idea. We’ll take it! Thanks for reading, Claire. 🙂

  16. gahlearner says:

    Hehehe, this is priceless. I absolutely love the zig-zag…

  17. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! I thought you might. It’s the way it’s worked into the sentence. It’s also very characteristic of the guy he’s based on. The guy he’s based on had an old car from his college days. The first one he ever owned and he kept it. It was a rust bucket, valued around three hundred dollars, a 1979 model and, when we had a hailstorm, it did something like three dollars worth of damage. Then, one day, we “stole” it from him and had it covered in advertisements, had him drive it on the NASCAR track, then we had it towed to a junk lot and shredded into pieces. 😀

  18. We have those “partly cloudy” days in Northern Nevada that can put you in a ditch.

  19. draliman says:

    I guess if he were worried about the accuracy of his forecasts, he would have stayed in sunny Las Vegas. Fun story!

  20. liz young says:

    With that sense of humour, no wonder he got the job!

  21. rgayer55 says:

    Did Bob ever get chastised by the newsgirl about his failure to deliver the 8 inches he promised last night? There are thousands of TV blunders on the web, but that one is by far my favorite.

  22. wmqcolby says:

    I laughed out loud immediately when I read your comment, Russell. This happens to be my dad’s favorite as well. He talked about some weatherman in Texas and a place called Alice, Texas, and the guy on the radio said, “… and Alice got nine inches last night.” Apparently, Willard Scott did the same with the State of Virginia adding, “… and she’ll get more tonight if she’s lucky.” Obviously, this joke can’t be traced down to a specific individual, it’s just an old joke that gets said by everyone whose ornery enough to say it on the air.

  23. Jan Brown says:

    I love the last line! I hope Bob enjoys predicting the unpredictable weather of the midwest 😆

  24. mickwynn2013 says:

    Very funny story and I know they are quite accurate but it never seems that way so it’s good to see the forecaster suffer the consequences for a change. 🙂

  25. Funny story, Kent. They’re still talking in the UK about that hurricane of October 1987. Poor weatherman. Here it was forecast this would be a normal to a heavy monsoon in this area beginning in June. We’re still waiting. 🙂 — Suzanne

  26. I’ve always thought anyone could be a weatherman. You never really have to be right. Fun story.

  27. Margaret says:

    I like your story and Bob’s lovely. I feel sorry for weather forecasters – they get criticised more than anyone. Except maybe school teachers.

  28. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! Margaret, my mom was a school teacher and, yes, you are correct. But, she taught in a different time, too. Has the skin of an elephant when it comes to criticism. Probably because she grew up with brothers.

  29. That was a very funny story, very sweetly ironic!
    I like Bob’s phrasing at the end. Really enjoyed your unfolding of character, tone and setting, Kent!

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