It Doesn’t Matter Where


Photo By Rochelle, Queen of the Blogosphere


The realtor took Bill around the hallway of the house, second level and opened the closet door.   “They installed a shower in here.  Isn’t that something?”

Bill thought for a second or two.  “I’d sure hate to see where they did their laundry.”

The realtor continued the tour.  “In the 1800’s, this house had no indoor toilet.”

Bill understood.  Considering the age of the house, even the best ones had outdoor privies.

“And because there was no indoor plumbing, the former tenants really improvised.”

“So, these former tenants … where did they go?”

“Um … I think they went to Branson.”


OK, so it’s not entirely original, but when nature calls, there is NO answering machine!

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44 Responses to It Doesn’t Matter Where

  1. Iain Kelly says:

    Hee hee, good chuckle.

  2. neilmacdon says:

    you know, I liked the note at the end. Did you make that up about no answering machine? It’s great

  3. wmqcolby says:

    Yes, Neil, I DID make that up.

  4. Your realtor doesn’t seem to be the sharpest tooth in the shark’s mouth.. I do hope this house was set in a deep dark woods.

  5. rgayer55 says:

    Well, I hope when you, me, and the Queen get to Branson we find a bathroom there. I don’t know how much longer I can hold it.

  6. Dale says:


  7. wmqcolby says:

    Yeah, I figured such.

  8. Hehehehe 🙂 But I am wondering where or what Branson is. :/

    • wmqcolby says:

      Oh, it’s in the State of Missouri. We went to the writer’s conference there this weekend. I was presenting this story there, so I threw in the name. Rochelle gave me a certificate for my participation. And Russell’s, too.

  9. Oh you chain puller, Bill, I had to reach for my dictionary for realtor, but what a dialogue exchange. The ending was funny and left me feeling flushed. Someone has probably already said that but I don’t care!

  10. Ha! I say “RUN!!!”
    Take that any way you like. 🙂

  11. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Perfect set up, to a big groan at the end. Nicely done.

  12. wmqcolby says:

    Well, I guess it’s better than nothing. But, once I did arrive in Branson Friday at noon, I ate first …

  13. draliman says:

    Outdoor privies, so much more sophisticated than a chamber pot or a window… 🙂
    The only “Branson” I’ve heard of is the founder of Virgin Media/Atlantic/Money/Megastores etc. I’m guessing yours is a town though I guess if you went to Richard Branson he could afford to get you a toilet built!

  14. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! Funny, Ali. Yeah, the “Branson” I’m referring to is Branson, Missouri. It is kind of a combination of Nashville and Las Vegas where there are country music shows and a theme park called Silver Dollar City. It is very well-known in America and it is also the home of the Ozark Writers League (OWL) where Rochelle, Russell and I went this weekend. Since Rochelle was presenting a lecture on this great blog called Friday Fictioneers, Russell and I were two of 7 people to read our entries for this week’s photo prompt. Had a great time! I threw in the name Branson just for the presentation.

    I’m sure Richard Branson really WOULD build a toilet there. Solid gold, naturally.

  15. Alice Audrey says:

    This reminds me of a documentary in which a former maid in a Russian castle was asked what she remembered most of the place. She said it stank. Literally. Everyone did their business behind the tapestries, weather there was a slop pot available there or not.

  16. Alice Audrey says:

    whether. Stupid typo.

  17. wmqcolby says:

    Glad you smiled, Linda! Keep going on that. 😉

  18. wmqcolby says:

    Thanks, Dawn. 🙂

  19. Lynn Love says:

    We had an outdoor loo for a while when I was a kid – full of spiders, it made for very creepy nocturnal visits! Nice tale Kent 🙂

  20. wmqcolby says:

    Yeah? Wow! I grew up in the woods, so I never had problems with spiders, snakes, etc. Mice? That’s different.

  21. What concerns me most is the improvising… improvised plumbing … brrrr

    • wmqcolby says:

      Well, that’s the way my mom and dad grew up. I was in Honduras visiting a family where they had an outhouse. I called my parents, told them in what kind of circumstances I was living and they said, “Good for you!” 😀

      Glad to see you again.

  22. Miles Rost says:

    Was there a still out back? I keep thinking Beverly Hillbillies for some reason. Well done!

  23. gahlearner says:

    Heh. That was fun. In a way… 😀 Some of my earlier childhood memories are about the home of an elderly woman who looked after me and some other kids instad of kindergarten. She did have an indoor toilet, but it wasn’t a WC, kind of an inhouse outhouse. There was no toilet paper either, just cut-up newspaper. In any case it was adventurous.

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